Untitled #2

I can’t do this.
I can’t focus.
I can’t eat.
I can’t sleep.
I can’t drink-I’m drowning.
I can’t deal without you.
I can’t handle distance.
I can’t see you cry.
I carry your picture with me.
I can’t do this.
I can’t do this.
I miss you,
I miss you.


I broke my own heart today,
I parked on the street near Seany’s house and cried myself to sanity.
My head aches like it always does;
Only this time, it aches for the memories
That dance around inside like that last
Time I held you in the kitchen.
I stared into your bedroom for five
Minutes in silence;
Taking in every single little detail.
The book that has been unmoved,
Our pictures strung upon the wall,
The clothes strewn across the floor-
Forming an ocean of chaos and
Maliciousness that I recognized as
Our love.
Fuck it,
I said I would always love you
And Damn well I meant it.
I will walk this wretched path on my hands and knees a thousand times
If I have to.
I will traverse the oceans of doubt
In a rowboat if I must,
I will capture the stars and hang them
Up on your window so you won’t have to be afraid of the loneliness of the dark anymore.
I will always love you.
I want to grow and bloom and reach up
Into the sky and shout to the world
How we made it.
How we made it.
But for now, in this horrid plague of an hour,
I will sit and remember how it felt to collapse into myself and ache to talk to the one person I could not.

I’ve never cried so much, and for such one person.
If I had another heart I’d let you break that one too.
Unknown (via c-oquetry)

Here I lay again, cornered by myself-
My demons and my sadness.
I am alone again- left to toil in the
Depths of my own despair.
You’re gone, and I always told myself
That if this day came I would look to
The memories on the wall
And bask in the soothing smile
I was once able to put upon your face.
Oh hell.
Oh fucking hell.
I ache.
I ache.


At times I laugh at the thought
Of being considered a bad man.
More so, I am a bad human being.
I can barely walk down the sidewalk
Without choking on my heavy worries
Or being seen by somebody I know.
Toss me a bone and I’ll ask where
The entire skeleton is.
Conversations are hard
Letting people close to my chasm like
Heart is frightening, and my brain
Flashes like a yellow light:
Slow down and catch your breath!
I am too greedy, too idealistic,
Too sensitive for human touch
Maybe it best to leave me to rot along
The books and papers in my closet.
They rarely give me reason to feel.

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